Typical Lebanese Twitter Conversation

I joined twitter on the 13th of February 2007 and i don’t remember for how long the service was already out and running.

At the beginning I was not really active tweeting then became addicted to a certain extreme limit and lately I am controlling this addiction and this control led to one of my new year resolutions which is being less active on twitter and more on Quora (which I believe will be big in 2011 because of the accumulating knowledge the site is carrying).

This post is not about discussing the blogging or micro blogging services and their impact, it is about how Lebanese tweeple communicate and tweet. Since joining twitter i have followed and unfollowed lots of people, i have seen the clever and stupid, the smart and dumb, the useful and the useless and filtered my time line very often, but what kept coming to my head is the Lebanese way of tweeting (not everyone but most of them) and below is a typical time line out of my imagination.

Tweeple #1: morning Lebanon

Unlimited number of tweeples: morning tweeple #1, long time no see, long time no hear, we miss you, i love you, how are you, bla bla bla

Tweeple #1: oh thank you thank you i miss all of you too

(knowing that they had a tweetup 24 hours before this conversation)

Tweeple #1: i feel like having a breakfast, what should i eat?

Unlimited number of tweeples: have a man2ouche, no a croissant, i suggest labneh 3al saj, no eat healthy, i adore nutella, bla bla bla

Tweeple #1: ok i will have all what you have suggested

Tweeple #2 (girl): i was thinking of buying a new bag and shoes, what about we make a tweetup and discuss it???

Unlimited number of tweeples (girls): akid charchoura, i have wonderful ideas for you, chefet skarbineh mbere7 bel Hamra bett tayyer el 3a2el, yiiii la2 ana ma fiyeh ajlouwa please, bla bla bla

unlimited number of retweets for the tweetup via twitvite starts filling your time line

Tweeple #3 (boy): Guys, i am thinking of buying a new Camaro model el 2015, haydi special edition ou ma fi menna ella 100 cars worldwide, i need to have one of them to feel i am aligned with life ou se3ra bass 75,000 dollars bass iza bjiba men dubai bwafer fiya chway (knowing that he can barely afford to buy a Nissan Sunny 1995 model, with all my respect to people driving Nissan Sunny cars).

Unlimited number of tweeples: no dont buy that camaro, it is not good, i heard that there is a strange noise in the engine and they cannot locate it, so fiya deffo menel cherkeh, no buy this car, much better, no buy that car, and the discussion goes on the “lebanese style” analyzing and finding what all the engineers of Mercedes-Benz and Ferrari and Porsche missed while designing their cars.

OK, let us have a tweetup and design our own car and while we are there we can also discuss the political situation in Lebanon and the region and analyze what will happen next.

unlimited number of retweets for the tweetup via twitvite starts filling your time line

Tweeple #999: I feel so down today because my cat did not feel OK yesterday, took her to the vet and i could not sleep all night long as i wanted to make sure she is sleeping peacefully.

Unlimited number of tweeples: yiii sorry to hear this, walla bssayentik ma btesstehal, bassita allah karim, ra7 dawila cham3a la tsso7

Tweeple #1025: i became the mayor of restaurant “best hamburger in town” (and this check-in is number 3,752 at the same location) ya khayeh walla fhemnna enno bet 7ebb el hamburger taba3 “best hamburger in town” ou jarabneha ou btekhod el 3a2el ou ra7 na3mellak wassel fiya.

Tweeple #3710: let us have a tweetup because i did not eat sushi since our last tweetup at “best sushi in town”

unlimited number of retweets for the tweetup via twitvite starts filling your time line

Tweeple #2762: I cannot believe my eyes, i crossed the line of 50,000 tweets, i feel great!!!

Unlimited number of tweeples: mabrouk el 50,000 tweet, walla ma 7ada addak 3al twitter ya chabb el twitter enta, ya allah my wish is to have the same number of tweets, starting this moment i will tweet everytime i use the bathroom, maybe it can help raising the number.

Hey you, “Stupid with 50,000 tweets”, i am sure that barely 1% of your tweets might have something useful for me or for others, you got to that number because you tell good morning every morning to the 1000 people following you and every time you take a breath you tweet about it.

And it goes on and on and on … so please go and download a messenger.

Having caricaturized the twitter time line the Lebanese style, i cannot hold myself saying that there are lots interesting tweeple out there who can easily fill you time line with useful tweets and information and point to interesting subjects. No need to make a list of names, you know who you are.